When you date, you are spending time with someone you don't know. You probably have expectations of how these things are supposed to go, sometimes your expectations will not be met, sometimes to the extreme. It is in these instances that dating disasters are borne.
Given that when dating, you are bringing people you don't really know into your life, a disasterous time is always a possibility. This issue has existed forever, right back to the days when dating was called courting. The reason is simple, dating is a process of working out whether someone is compatible for you. So given you don't know the answer to this yet, there is a possibility you are going to spend time with someone completely inappropiate for you. If this happens it will be a dating disaster.
Fortunately, most dating disasters are pretty safe. They only cost you a bit of time and for that time you learn something about yourself. (at the very least you'll learn that you don't like certain characteristics or behaviors) Occasionally though a dating disaster can be dangerous, putting your person or property at risk. It is these dating disasters that we hear about most often.
Unfortunately, sometimes these stories are so bad (they possibly get worse through the embellishment of story telling) that they put people off looking for love. Loneliness is one of the greatest injuries a dating disaster can cause.
Recently (as compared to the history of dating) the internet arrived. There is something that many people don't understand about dating and the internet though. When the internet came to dating, nothing changed regarding these dangers. All the internet did was bring to you a new method of meeting people. Internet dating is just a computerised introductions service.
If you have missed the fact that internet dating is just a forum to meet people, you may make one of the following two mistakes:
1. You may think you actually know someone from your online communications, only to find they are completely different to what you expected.
2. When things go wrong, you blame the internet as the medium, rather than the fact that the person you were dating was just wrong for you. Thats where such sayings as "He must have been a freak, that's why he is on the internet" come from.
These mistakes are made more often in the "adult" side of the industry, where the emphasis is on getting into bed rather than getting to know someone. So please remember, internet dating isn't dating at all, its just an introduction service. You only start dating when you meet the person in real life.
An internet dating site is the same as a newspaper ad, or singles personals in a magazine, or a pre internet singles party. It is a forum where you can meet people, get their contacts, and that is all. The more you understand this, the safer your dating experiences will be and the more successful you will be in finding your partners.
When dating, I believe everyone should put safety first. You don't really know the person you are dating yet (Ie. thats the whole point of the exercise), so don't assume they are as trustworthy as you. You can never have a successful dating experience anyway, if you have doubts about your safety. So to help, I'd like to suggest you adhere to the following 6 guidelines when using the internet to help with your dating experience:
1. Understand the role dating sites play. Ie. They are there to help you find people. Thats where their purpose ends.
2. Recognise that niche online dating sites attract the personality types they cater to. Only join the ones you think will attract the people you are interested in.
3. Use the communication features of dating sites to screen people before you give them your contacts. But recognise this is just a screening process, not getting to know anyone.
4. When you are ready to meet someone in the real world, apply your usual "blind date" precautions to this meeting. Those internet chat sessions were not a date, this is your first date.
5. If you are ever unsure, particularly in the early stages, put safety first.
6. If you strike out once or twice, recognise you've found personalities which you don't match. Try to avoid throwing out the baby with the bath water though. Don't give up. Try again. - 18256
Given that when dating, you are bringing people you don't really know into your life, a disasterous time is always a possibility. This issue has existed forever, right back to the days when dating was called courting. The reason is simple, dating is a process of working out whether someone is compatible for you. So given you don't know the answer to this yet, there is a possibility you are going to spend time with someone completely inappropiate for you. If this happens it will be a dating disaster.
Fortunately, most dating disasters are pretty safe. They only cost you a bit of time and for that time you learn something about yourself. (at the very least you'll learn that you don't like certain characteristics or behaviors) Occasionally though a dating disaster can be dangerous, putting your person or property at risk. It is these dating disasters that we hear about most often.
Unfortunately, sometimes these stories are so bad (they possibly get worse through the embellishment of story telling) that they put people off looking for love. Loneliness is one of the greatest injuries a dating disaster can cause.
Recently (as compared to the history of dating) the internet arrived. There is something that many people don't understand about dating and the internet though. When the internet came to dating, nothing changed regarding these dangers. All the internet did was bring to you a new method of meeting people. Internet dating is just a computerised introductions service.
If you have missed the fact that internet dating is just a forum to meet people, you may make one of the following two mistakes:
1. You may think you actually know someone from your online communications, only to find they are completely different to what you expected.
2. When things go wrong, you blame the internet as the medium, rather than the fact that the person you were dating was just wrong for you. Thats where such sayings as "He must have been a freak, that's why he is on the internet" come from.
These mistakes are made more often in the "adult" side of the industry, where the emphasis is on getting into bed rather than getting to know someone. So please remember, internet dating isn't dating at all, its just an introduction service. You only start dating when you meet the person in real life.
An internet dating site is the same as a newspaper ad, or singles personals in a magazine, or a pre internet singles party. It is a forum where you can meet people, get their contacts, and that is all. The more you understand this, the safer your dating experiences will be and the more successful you will be in finding your partners.
When dating, I believe everyone should put safety first. You don't really know the person you are dating yet (Ie. thats the whole point of the exercise), so don't assume they are as trustworthy as you. You can never have a successful dating experience anyway, if you have doubts about your safety. So to help, I'd like to suggest you adhere to the following 6 guidelines when using the internet to help with your dating experience:
1. Understand the role dating sites play. Ie. They are there to help you find people. Thats where their purpose ends.
2. Recognise that niche online dating sites attract the personality types they cater to. Only join the ones you think will attract the people you are interested in.
3. Use the communication features of dating sites to screen people before you give them your contacts. But recognise this is just a screening process, not getting to know anyone.
4. When you are ready to meet someone in the real world, apply your usual "blind date" precautions to this meeting. Those internet chat sessions were not a date, this is your first date.
5. If you are ever unsure, particularly in the early stages, put safety first.
6. If you strike out once or twice, recognise you've found personalities which you don't match. Try to avoid throwing out the baby with the bath water though. Don't give up. Try again. - 18256
About the Author:
Jayde Johanssen, worried with the emergence of online dating predators, encourages safety primarily with online dating, particularly at adult dating sites
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